Coming Out...Again

The phone rang and I was busy finishing up a project at work. It was a late afternoon a couple of weeks ago and I was on deadline.

My coworker answered the call and put the caller on hold. He turned to me and said, "It's for you."

"Thanks," I said.

I picked up the phone expecting to hear from another coworker and it turns out it was someone verifying my background for a job that I applied for. He mentioned that he had to speak to me further about some issues that came up and I asked what it was about. (I totally hate being kept in the dark about "issues.")

During the background investigation process, I had mentioned that I was at one point under investigation due to the Don't Ask, Don't Tell Policy. The background investigator said that he had some questions about this. "Great," I thought.

I remember my heart racing and thinking, "WTF?" Here, I am a Marine with an honorable discharge and yet, I have to explain this investigation.

About a week later, I found myself sitting across from the investigator, who was quite gracious and polite. And it was here that I found myself, coming out all over again. Yes, I served honorably and have the paperwork to back this up. But there was concern over this investigation. Was it ongoing?

There is a lot of misunderstanding and ignorance about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. Yes, it applies to everyone in the military, even those in the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR)... Well, it applies if the military cares to pursue you. The reality is this policy is selectively enforced. Sometimes commanders are by the book or have their own prejudices and enforce this policy. But quite a few times, you get commanders who are more interested in getting the mission accomplished than enforcing a policy that weeds out often times quite valuable members of their unit.

As I sat across from the investigator, I found myself explaining the basics of this policy. The DADT policy allows for a select group of people to be discriminated against. The very act of speaking, which is protected in our bill of rights, is not allowed. Keep quiet. Pretend. Ignore. Hide. Turn away.

Silence.

By not speaking, by not making a stand, we allow this insidious policy live. We are a nation that was founded on the priniciples that "All men were created equal." And yet, here we are in 2009, in the present, with a policy that says that all men are created equal except for if you are LGBT.

This is a fight that requires a united front - gay, straight, liberal, conservative and every one else who believes in civil rights and equality. As I sat trying to explain my decisions and actions, I found myself reflecting on why I decided to speak.

As a Marine, we speak of Honor, Courage and Commitment. These are not just words, but a way of life. There is no honor in allowing a discriminatory policy to continue to eviscerate and weaken our military by taking away qualified servicemembers or keeping qualified applicants out. There is no courage in staying silent and watching your fellow Marines, soldiers, sailors, airmen and coast guardsmen being forced out for just being, who they are or loving who they love. And there is no commitment to our very Constitution when we allow a policy like this to continue to exist.

Yes, I decided to speak for myself and for those who could not speak for themselves. I decided to speak because I believe in what this country stands for and would willing die for what this country stands for.

And for these reasons, it is worth the craziness and stress that comes with coming out again.